Week 4: Danielle

my story.

I know I got caught up in a little bit too much gaming early on but hey, it would have been an amazing move if it went though! And NEVER would I have tried to do it if I knew Dominic's life in the game was on the line. He was my best friend in the house and my closest ally. I am definitely going to step up my game and make better and more calculated moves! I cannot afford another mess like last week… oddly enough though… I feel as though I played a great game of damage control and in the end, I'm sending Brendan home… could I ask for more?!

I thought coming into this game was going to be much easier the second time around, but it's not. It's just as hard but in different ways. The hardest part is having couples that are in love in this house. In any other season if you separate a pair, you're making a great game move, but in this house… separating a pair means you're attacking them on a personal level and ruining the relationship. I don't want to hurt people on a person level and it makes me sad to see people sad… HOWEVER… I also am smart enough to realize that I need to make the best games move for ME in this house.

My problem with sticking in that alliance was that I was the odd man out, nobody could have ever got between the couples. I came here to play BIG BROTHER a game I respect and love. I did not come to the house to spend the summer holding Jeff and Brendan's hands skipping to my loo obeying everything they dictate me to do. I'm not that kind of person in real life and sure as heck not that kind of game player! I'm not afraid to make big moves in this game. I know you can't win unless you do. Everyone in this house was so afraid of all these bullies that I needed to step up and go against the flow. BRING IT!

Brendan and Rachel have basically told me I have no shot of winning this game without them on my side because they are the only true competitors in this house,… but you know what, just because you win a lot of competitions does not mean you are the best game player. Their social game is a joke and that will be their downfall in this game. I lost season 8 due to a bad social game, and I know that you can't go around acting like they do.

I really hope I am making everyone proud. I am here to take big risks and I have no intentions of sitting around at summer camp all summer long. I am here to shake things up and yeah, the money would be great, but I have a second chance to prove that I am capable of winning, and for me, that means EVERYTHING!

As for the situation with my father… being thrown into this house with him again was really not an easy thing to do. It again had been two and a half years since we had last spoken, I knew no matter what I would say, that not a person would believe me. The two other couples are basically married and here I am caught in the middle of a bad family situation, yet again. It's a tough spot to be in. when I found out my father had to leave the game for 'personal reasons' at first I was scared, then I was angry, and then I was sad. I know this game is his life and he would never leave unless it was a huge reason. I worry about what may have happened to him every single day in here, I think it's actually harder not knowing because in the Big Brother house, all you can do is think and your brain goes nuts! This is the first time I have ever been in this house truly on my own and the first chance I have ever been given to play as a solo. It really is hard trying to reach full trust with people in this house. I keep imagining him watching the feeds thinking I'm crazy for some of the things I've done already. But I am strong and I can definitely take care of myself. I'm not worried about me.

I'm ready for any new twists. I'm so glad these golden keys are donunzio! Very difficult twist to work with, especially with the alliance I was working with the first couple weeks.

house.guests.

Keith. - Super fun guy. I definitely would have loved to work some strategy with this guy. He never really got a chance so for that I feel bad.

Cassi. - It is so hard to find girls in the big brother house that are are fun and carefree like Cassi. I really enjoyed her company and the fact that we rarely talked game together. Unfortunately, I could not trust her at all. I think I was in about four separate alliances with her… you do the math. I would have loved to have her around a lot longer.. but with her in this game, there was no way I could trust Dominic. I saw a bus coming and that buss' name was Rachel so I couldn't help but throw her in front of it.

Dominic. - MY little PT!!!! I feel so blessed to have gotten the chance to get to know him. He truly was my escape from game. However, when Cassi went home and we finally got on the same page on game play, it made my scheming that much more fun. True competitor, and I wish I wish I wish we would have gotten to the end in this game together. I do realize though that having him out of this house might actually be a good thing for my game. As you can see, having strong pairs in here is seen as a huge threat and people were already starting to fear us (Dun dun DUNNNNNN….). And the fact that he should still be in this house KILLS ME. I cannot tell you how terrible I feel about the situation as a whole.

Kalia. - This is my girl! I will do everything in my power to keep this lady in the game. I am so thankful to have found a friend as wonderful as her. She is having a hard time while feeling like the house hates her, but she is actually in a much better spot than she thinks. I try and give her encouragement as often as I can. She makes me laugh and I know I will be her friend for life.

Lawon. - Since the beginning I have loved his company. Never have I met such a smiley positive person who brings sunshine into everyone he comes across. On a strategic level, I finally trust the guy! It took me a long time, but we are there. I just need him to step up in competitions (BADLY)… but baby steps!

Adam. - I really didn't think I was going to be able to handle a summer filled with this wackadoo! I LOVE Adam! He really is the funniest person. When you get him one on one he is also the most genuine big hearted person. Truly a treat to have in the house. I really want to keep Adam in this game for awhile. I think we have an understanding, but I also fear that he will try and get me out if he sees an opening. & Farrah I cannot wait to meet you!

Porsche. - I have been back and forth with this one. I have come to the realization that if you take the Rachel out of Porsche, she is a great girl. Porsche is just a kind hearted person and I think that's where she has and will go wrong in this game. Everyone is playing on a person emotional level, and if you want to win, you have to put all that aside, at least when it comes to game moves. I really really am starting to like the time I spend with her, even though it really pisses Rachel off… because God forbid her one friend in the house has any other friends. And yes, Brenchal reprimanded her for hanging out with me… give me a break.

Shelly. - Shelly I call echa sketch. I want to trust her so bad.. but so may red flags are telling me not to. It's hard to trust a person who always says how honest they are and then you catch them in lies. On a personal level, I think Shelly is the glue that keeps these people sane. Without her this house would be a mess and nobody would take care of themselves. I cannot wait to meet Josie and Tony, she speaks so highly of you both!

Jeff. - When it comes to Jeff, I never understood the hype of why everyone loved him so much on his season. After living with him, he truly is just a down to earth funny person that you enjoy bingeing around… but don't get on his bad side because man does he have a temper! eek! I really don't know where I stand with him after trying to backdoor him, but I'm doing everything in my power to prove to him that it was not personal. I can't even believe he thought it was, I don't think that way and maybe that was my fault, because I was too much game... but I'm woking on rebuilding trust.

Jordan. - This girl must be the nicest person left in the world. She is just a breath of fresh air. I really enjoy her laughs in this house, but when it comes to game… well, let's just say I don't feel threatened by her, and would love to see her go really far. Hopefully by me keeping her and Jeff together for the summer, this will benefit me later down the road.

Rachel. - well… what can I even say? The first two and a half weeks, I really gave her the benefit of the doubt. I think she has the potential to be a really nice person, but in the big brother house, she really gets caught up in the wrong things. My early game was based way too much on pushing her and her 'man' ahead and that's where I went wrong. I know after this week, she needs to go. I feel like I killed Brendan, not just evicted him. My opinion is I would just prefer if you're going to hate me, do it all the way, don't be nice when you want something, tacky.

Brendan. - CHECKMATE! One little me has taken down the 'king' of bb13. What a treat! Now there will be more food in the house. I would have loved to go really far in this game with Brendan and Rachel, but it was their fault for going against me and thinking they are the best Big Brother players of all time. I saw Brendan as a huge threat in this game, the guy rocks these comps, and hey if you're not with me, you're against me, and if you're against me, you gots ta go! I really do feel bad that it's hurting Rachel on an emotional level, but remember kids, it's just a game, and at the end of the day, I'm not breaking up marriages, I'm splitting up strongs pairs in a GAME!

Stein. - my Bestie!! This is the longest I have gone without talking to you and words cannot express how much I miss you. The Meowstro has only played once, but that day was amazing! I talk about you so much, it really irritates Jeff. Ha. Everytime I am down in this house, I try and think of what advice you would give me to help get me through. Tell Sterny I said hello. And I cannot cannot cannot wait to have a 30 hour aim sesh soon. <3

ps I got Jello in my HOH basket as homage to you!!!

Inbal. - My soulmate! My life is NOT a dance party without you! I think about you every single day, and everyone in this house cannot wait to meet you. I am so excited to see you and go to dinner, catch up on the OC and drink vino & holy cannolis!!! i love love love you! thank you for being such a huge part of my life. I miss you terribly.

VIncent. - I love you. Thank you for taking care of everything while I'm gone. I miss roommate nights! Pllllllease tell Pete and Leslie I cannot wait to see them! You guys better be having BB parties at the house nonstop! I love you guys so much and am so thankful to have you all in my life. I hope I'm making you proud… or at least entertaining you. I apologize for any trouble Mufasa & DJ are giving you all. Tell the grandmom I miss her, love her tons and that I'm doing just fine!!

To everyone else,THE FANS, friends, it is the thoughts of you and the support I know you all have for me that is keeping me going in this house! I love each and everyone of you and cannot wait to reunite.

goodbye.

until my next HOH…. obviously! (coolio)